My stay-at-home daddy adventure feels like it has reached a feverish pace.
Willow is in her toddler prime, which means she has become a world-class mess-maker. I haven't spent much time around other toddlers, so I don't know if they're all world-class mess-makers, but I'm guessing they are. I'm guessing it's a requirement for being a toddler.
On any typical day, I feel like I'm that short cleaning robot in "Wall-E," the one who uses its scrubber attachment to chase down and clean up "foreign substances." Throughout the movie, that guy is rolling around cleaning mess after mess after mess.
I spring into action much the same way. I roll over to the mess and start scrubbing it up. Meanwhile, our toddler angel is off making other messes. A whole bunch more goes into my job, but, really, I can say with all honesty that being a scrubber robot chasing around mess-making Willow dominates my days.
I am not complaining. I have the best job in the world. I know that. All I'm saying is I'm quite busy. Also, again with all honesty, I can say I'm on my feet and running around about a quad-million-jillion times more than I was in my old editing job (though, even stationed comfortably at my desk, it felt like I was too busy to breathe sometimes; I'm breathing much better at my new job).
I digress.
Today at lunch, Willow and I sat at our dining room table. Meals always start off peaceful and happy. But after a few minutes, I started having this imaginary dialogue with Willow in my head:
Willow: "Oh, servant! Servant! Might I have your attention?"
Me: "Zz ... huh?"
Willow: "Servant, my apologies, but I must explain something to you."
Me: "Okay?"
Willow: "I am so enjoying these pear wedges, dear servant, but I must warn you, I do so enjoy throwing them to the floor as well."
Me: "The floor ... no, please?"
Willow: "I don't know, servant. I have this overwhelming urge to just pitch them, right here, right now, over the side and to the floor. Oh, I'm getting so giddy thinking about it!"
Me: "Oh, please, no! I am so, so tired."
Willow: "That settles it! My enjoyment will be twice as good! Here they go!"
Me: "Nooooooooooooo ..."
Willow is in her toddler prime, which means she has become a world-class mess-maker. I haven't spent much time around other toddlers, so I don't know if they're all world-class mess-makers, but I'm guessing they are. I'm guessing it's a requirement for being a toddler.
On any typical day, I feel like I'm that short cleaning robot in "Wall-E," the one who uses its scrubber attachment to chase down and clean up "foreign substances." Throughout the movie, that guy is rolling around cleaning mess after mess after mess.
I spring into action much the same way. I roll over to the mess and start scrubbing it up. Meanwhile, our toddler angel is off making other messes. A whole bunch more goes into my job, but, really, I can say with all honesty that being a scrubber robot chasing around mess-making Willow dominates my days.
I am not complaining. I have the best job in the world. I know that. All I'm saying is I'm quite busy. Also, again with all honesty, I can say I'm on my feet and running around about a quad-million-jillion times more than I was in my old editing job (though, even stationed comfortably at my desk, it felt like I was too busy to breathe sometimes; I'm breathing much better at my new job).
I digress.
Today at lunch, Willow and I sat at our dining room table. Meals always start off peaceful and happy. But after a few minutes, I started having this imaginary dialogue with Willow in my head:
Willow: "Oh, servant! Servant! Might I have your attention?"
Me: "Zz ... huh?"
Willow: "Servant, my apologies, but I must explain something to you."
Me: "Okay?"
Willow: "I am so enjoying these pear wedges, dear servant, but I must warn you, I do so enjoy throwing them to the floor as well."
Me: "The floor ... no, please?"
Willow: "I don't know, servant. I have this overwhelming urge to just pitch them, right here, right now, over the side and to the floor. Oh, I'm getting so giddy thinking about it!"
Me: "Oh, please, no! I am so, so tired."
Willow: "That settles it! My enjoyment will be twice as good! Here they go!"
Me: "Nooooooooooooo ..."
Comments
Post a Comment