Well, here we are, one year later.
On Aug. 1, 2011, Willow, Cherish and I took deep breaths and ventured down an unsure road. Aug. 1, 2011, was my first full day on the job as stay-at-home dad.
"Unsure road" isn't really a fair way of putting it, though. We were sure about what we wanted to do. We knew the road we wanted to take. But the road was so different from any we had taken in our lives, we weren't sure where we'd end up. We even reserved the possibility we'd have to turn back.
We haven't turned back.
And we're well on our way.
We even found a lot of the happiness we thought we would, and you can't beat that.
I don't want to mislead you. All has not been sublime. The road we chose has had some rough patches along the way, but I don't think these rough patches carry any more weight than the ones we might have encountered if we had taken the more traditional route.
The roughest patch hasn't been what we expected it would be: money. We've done fine, and our outlook is bright. We've just lived within our means (and have been able to be a little looser than we anticipated). We thank our lucky stars for that.
No. The roughest patch has been the utter change in our lives, meaning Cherish and me. So much changed so quickly, and our roles and the parts we played in each other's lives were, in an instant, unfamiliar, or missing. This is quite the punch to the gut, and it left us breathless and reeling. This is complicated and tough to put into words, and I'm not going to try. Actually, I expect it might be something every couple faces with a baby, regardless of if one's staying home or not.
I do know that Cherish and I, after several months, were able to identify the rough patch and smooth it over. And we're a better couple for it. I love my wife more than ever. She is very important to me. She is the light of my life.
Another major challenge on the road we chose is quite simply my becoming a stay-at-home dad; there aren't a lot of us out there (the U.S. Census puts the number in the thousands, not the millions, in the whole country, and I've come across only a couple dozen or so in my first year on the job; I've met hundreds of stay-at-home moms).
To be honest, this hasn't been that major of a challenge, really. Sometimes I feel like I'm on an island, not getting recognized for what I do, but that mostly might be my shyness (or my own misperceptions) obstructing the view.
Really, the stay-at-home-dadness of it all is more awkward than difficult or unfair. And the stammering after I introduce myself as a stay-at-home dad has gotten to be humorous (recently, a bank didn't know how to classify my work status, so my job ended up as "unknown"; well, I know what my job is, and I told them what my job is, so I'm not sure why they don't know).
I've come to terms with the awkwardness of my job and now realize that I'm not going to bring much "dadness" to this world I work in. No. I work in a mom's world, and I'm fine with that, girls (yes, I'm the dude that keeps showing up week after week in this room filled with moms). Anyway, I know that even if I get overlooked, nobody is overlooking my fierce, little daughter.
Actually, I'm not leaving this bold, new world anytime soon. I'm going to be by Willow's side for years to come.
And her siblings'.
Cherish and I are planning on three more kiddos, folks.
And we like the road we're on.
I've got to run. I smell a poopy diaper!
On Aug. 1, 2011, Willow, Cherish and I took deep breaths and ventured down an unsure road. Aug. 1, 2011, was my first full day on the job as stay-at-home dad.
"Unsure road" isn't really a fair way of putting it, though. We were sure about what we wanted to do. We knew the road we wanted to take. But the road was so different from any we had taken in our lives, we weren't sure where we'd end up. We even reserved the possibility we'd have to turn back.
We haven't turned back.
And we're well on our way.
We even found a lot of the happiness we thought we would, and you can't beat that.
I don't want to mislead you. All has not been sublime. The road we chose has had some rough patches along the way, but I don't think these rough patches carry any more weight than the ones we might have encountered if we had taken the more traditional route.
The roughest patch hasn't been what we expected it would be: money. We've done fine, and our outlook is bright. We've just lived within our means (and have been able to be a little looser than we anticipated). We thank our lucky stars for that.
No. The roughest patch has been the utter change in our lives, meaning Cherish and me. So much changed so quickly, and our roles and the parts we played in each other's lives were, in an instant, unfamiliar, or missing. This is quite the punch to the gut, and it left us breathless and reeling. This is complicated and tough to put into words, and I'm not going to try. Actually, I expect it might be something every couple faces with a baby, regardless of if one's staying home or not.
I do know that Cherish and I, after several months, were able to identify the rough patch and smooth it over. And we're a better couple for it. I love my wife more than ever. She is very important to me. She is the light of my life.
Another major challenge on the road we chose is quite simply my becoming a stay-at-home dad; there aren't a lot of us out there (the U.S. Census puts the number in the thousands, not the millions, in the whole country, and I've come across only a couple dozen or so in my first year on the job; I've met hundreds of stay-at-home moms).
To be honest, this hasn't been that major of a challenge, really. Sometimes I feel like I'm on an island, not getting recognized for what I do, but that mostly might be my shyness (or my own misperceptions) obstructing the view.
Really, the stay-at-home-dadness of it all is more awkward than difficult or unfair. And the stammering after I introduce myself as a stay-at-home dad has gotten to be humorous (recently, a bank didn't know how to classify my work status, so my job ended up as "unknown"; well, I know what my job is, and I told them what my job is, so I'm not sure why they don't know).
I've come to terms with the awkwardness of my job and now realize that I'm not going to bring much "dadness" to this world I work in. No. I work in a mom's world, and I'm fine with that, girls (yes, I'm the dude that keeps showing up week after week in this room filled with moms). Anyway, I know that even if I get overlooked, nobody is overlooking my fierce, little daughter.
Actually, I'm not leaving this bold, new world anytime soon. I'm going to be by Willow's side for years to come.
And her siblings'.
Cherish and I are planning on three more kiddos, folks.
And we like the road we're on.
I've got to run. I smell a poopy diaper!
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