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Call me househusband

My wife always wanted a wife.
She shared that little tidbit with me several times.
Sometimes she'd spurt it out if she was exasperated, usually about something I did or didn't do.
And sometimes she'd smirk and say it, jokingly: "I want a wife!"
When she'd wish for a wife in an exasperated state, I'd clam up. Zip my lips. When she'd joke about it, I'd say something stupid and continue whatever manly inactivity I was up to (and she'd continue making supper).
Then things changed when we started this stay-at-home-daddy adventure. I did most the laundry. I made the bed. Did the dishes. Cooked (gasp!). I cleaned the house. Dusted (gasp! gasp!).
I was househusband extraordinaire!
I felt so good about myself, about my new efforts toward the family good, I even told my wife, "Now you have a wife."
Friends, I have to level with you ... THAT was a stupid thing to say.
Of course I didn't realize the stupidity of the comment at the times I said it. I think Cherish did, but she made no comment; she just gave me this look I couldn't decipher (more on that later).
But time has passed (a whole three months!), and I've grown wiser. I started picking up clues from Che.
She'd tell me stuff like "You have to handwash this" and "You have to rinse that out before putting it in the dishwasher."
Some of these tidbits came after the fact, after I'd ruined the frilliness of a shirt or permanently stained a piece of clear plastic a nice spaghetti orange. Some of the tips came beforehand.
I considered them all nagging.
Nagging from MY wife.
But I've seen an epiphany. Gentlemen, my mind is clear.
My wife was gently and patiently nudging me along while I made a mess of things. I was a bull in a china closet. I was Michael Keeton's Mr. Mom, stuffing clothes in the washer and concocting shortcut detergents.
I thought I was being a good wife, the wife my wife always wanted.
So I apologize to my wife.
I am not the wife you always wanted.
I am a stay-at-home dad.
I am a househusband in training.
I am no wife.
I'll never be, but I'll keep trying.
Maybe someday, with your nagging, er, I mean guidance, I'll be able to tiptoe among the china.
But it's not likely.
- Brian
P.S. As I hinted at before, I've deciphered the meaning of the strange look my wife gave me when I said, "Now you have a wife." She was thinking, "Uh-huh. Sure I have, bub."
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