The Spectacular Thief

It happens before you know it.
You can't stop it. Preventive measures are futile.
Willow has a gift.
She's quick as a ninja. Sly as a fox. Keen as an eagle.
And she puts these skills to good use.
Willow is a spectacular thief.
That is, she is a world-class spectacle stealer.
That is, she snatches eye glasses off people's heads.
I realize Willow isn't alone in this regard; the skill is common among babies.
But I've been studying my little thief, and this is how she does it:

She wobbles and falls throughout the day, and she grabs at and misses items she wants. This is meant to lure the target into a false sense of security about their glasses.
She fusses and cries at times, sometimes feigning a fall and bump on the head. This is meant to lure the target into picking her up.
She either continues to fuss or she unexpectedly smiles or laughs. This is meant to lure the target into a kiss on the cheek.
Then ... SNATCH!!! She has them. The spectacles are hers, and the thievery is spectacular.
Once the target pulls back the glasses, Willow then plays dumb and even a little hurtful. "Oh, I didn't know I had those in my hands. You didn't have to snatch them back so, so hurtfully."

As I mentioned earlier, preventive measures are futile.
I know Willow's tricks. I know her motives. I know her operation.
And yet I'm powerless to it. I cannot stop it.
So I'll just have to learn to enjoy it. Laugh at her and her mastery over me.
Then maybe she'll grow tiresome of the spectacle.

Comments

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