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Mr. Dunn and the Case of the Missing House Elf

The thought has kept me restless for two days now.
I can't sleep. I can hardly eat. My mind wanders because the thought is always there, poking into my consciousness, and into my unconsciousness.
I must solve the mystery if I want to regain my normalcy:

Why has our house elf forsaken me?

I've never met nor seen the little guy, but I know he graced our lives for several years.
I know he was around when I was a kid. He kept our house on Headquarters Road nice and tidy.
I know he was around in college. My roommates liked to point out to me how the sink stayed clear and the living room was relatively in order.
Then he vanished when I graduated. He was gone for years. I like to think he was traveling the world, getting to know himself.
He returned when Cherish and I started living together, and he stuck around, keeping the apartment, then the house and yard, clean.
Then this summer came, Aug. 1 to be exact, and he vanished.
I've been left with most of the cleaning (I say "most" because I think he's popped back here and there; I'm sure he folded the blankets in the living room this morning, for example, but I'm not sure that pop-in elf is him; it's probably some nearby house elf who just feels sorry for me and my plight).

The missing elf's case
At any rate, my house elf is gone, and I want to find him, so I've launched a missing elf's case. I'm on the hunt, and I WILL FIND MY ELF.
I don't have many clues to go on, but here are a few theories I have:
  • Our house elf is having a midlife crisis and will be back soon, likely with some overpriced and sexy cleaning equipment.
  • Our house elf has been kidnapped by the Irish House Elf Mafia that provides "protection" to house elves in the Nashville area.
  • Our house elf doesn't like babies, young kids or teenagers.
  • Our house elf was eaten by the pregnant, free-roaming chihuahua next door (it's a nasty little thing).
Clues
I have very few clues, but here are a few:
  • Willow has two missing socks. Might our house elf have taken them to cover his footsies for his journeys? Or did the chihuahua eat them as an appetizer?
  • Several batteries in our smoke detectors and garage door openers simultaneously died. Might our house elf have taken them and replaced them with dead batteries?
  • Mysterious tiles have popped up in the kitchen and dining room. What's with this? Are they clues to the elf's disappearance or is my wife planning a remodel?
  • I've never seen the house elf, but I have a thought of what he might look like. See the accompanying picture.

Please help
If you have any information about our missing house elf, please leave your comments here.
If you have a picture of him, please post it here or message it to my Facebook account.
I'll keep you posted on the case.
Wish me good luck.
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